But today, carrying over from yesterday, I am angry and bitter. I feel like I have been sucker punched, thrown under the bus, and voted off the island. It's all because of the apparent (and I mean apparent as I have heard over 2,000,000 ballots have yet to be counted and nothing has been certified) passage of proposition 8. You know, the one that says that gay people are less than straight people. That our relationships and our families don't count. That one.
I always thought of myself as a bit of an idealist, not needing the government to tell me that my love was real. Somehow though, on the morning of the 5th, I didn't feel that way anymore. I felt like I had been told by my state that I wasn't a citizen that counted.
Imagine, if you will, putting YOUR marriage up for referendum. YOUR family. How would you feel if people voted no, that you couldn't have those same recognitions, rights, and protections that your neighbors have because someone that you don't even know thinks it isn't okay. Just think about that. How would you feel? I can speculate that you'd feel awful. I can also speculate that unless you are gay and recently married in CA that you can't even begin to imagine the pit that would be sitting in your stomach, the disgust for the system that would eat at your core, and the hurt, anger and bitterness that feels absolutely paralyzing.
Today, I feel betrayed by the emptiness of the "inalienable rights" guaranteed me by the CA constitution. Let's just go ahead and put "unless you are gay" at the end of that article.
So, today, I am trying to work past the negativity that I have felt for the last two days. I am going to try to channel my thoughts and energies into ideas and action. It's time for one more gay voice. I hope anyone who reads this will take a moment today to think about the sadness that your gay friends, neighbors, and coworkers are feeling. Take a moment to send a quick note, or give a special hug. I came into work today to find a note taped to my monitor. It said:
Went home thinking about the two of you and Rhys--Yes, California is not
what one hears out there. We won't give up the fight."
It was from my boss. So maybe I can take that sentiment and start thinking about Obama's hope and change. Please pass it on.
